I recently read a comment from a bride who was being made to feel guilty because she chose to have her wedding on a Friday. Not because Friday created some terrible hardship. Because other people didn't like her choice. She chose a holiday weekend, which gave her guests an extra day to travel and for her sister who is in medical school and has a break so she can attend. So, I thought: when did planning a wedding begin to require this much permission?
Couples apologize for having an adults-only wedding. They feel guilty about choosing a destination. They worry that Friday is inconvenient, Sunday is inconvenient, the ceremony is too early, dinner is too late, the venue is too far, the guest list is too small. They explain why they aren't inviting someone they haven't spoken to in years. They defend not having children, favors, a wedding party, a particular tradition, or the particular tradition somebody else expected them to have. And, for the brides, everyone wants you to pick their dress choice. I have seen brides in tears over that one!
Of course you should consider your guests. Hospitality matters. But consideration is not the same thing as surrendering your wedding by committee. Your guests are invited to celebrate a marriage. They are not being asked to approve one. Not the day, not the gown, not the food or the decor.
I've watched couples spend enormous amounts of energy trying to make sure nobody is disappointed. Here's the difficult truth, someone probably will be. Because the only wedding that satisfies every relative, every friend, every guest and every opinion is a wedding designed by everyone except the two people getting married. Be gracious, be thoughtful, be a wonderful host. And then make the decision that is right for the two of you. You are planning a wedding. You are not running for office.
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