You may be hiring the wrong wedding planner for the right reason. A bride recently described a decision between two planners. Both were organized. Both communicated well. Both had strong experience. Planner One had the beautiful website, the polished Instagram, weddings that looked like what the bride envisioned. Planner Two had decades of experience, knew the area, knew the venue extremely well, had extensive experience with multicultural families. And, according to the bride, was exceptionally good with parents and strong personalities. But her portfolio? Not as smashing. And that gave the bride pause.
I understand why. Design matters, aesthetics matter. If you are spending a significant amount of money on your wedding, you absolutely want to know that the person helping create it understands what you want it to look and feel like. But there is a problem. Couples are sometimes using visual evidence to answer a question about logistics and follow through. A portfolio can show you a beautiful wedding. It cannot necessarily tell you: Who developed the design? Who made the decision?. Who managed the budget? Who handled the parents? Who challenged a vendor when something wasn't right? Who understood the cultural dynamics in the room? Who knew the venue well enough to anticipate the problem before it happened? Who kept the couple from being in charge of their own wedding day?
Sometimes it cannot even tell you whether the planner whose website you're admiring was actually the lead planner on the wedding you're looking at. So perhaps the question isn't: “Does this planner's portfolio look like my wedding?” Ask: “Can this planner understand my vision, and do they have the judgment to deliver it?” Then ask better questions.
Show them three images you love and ask what they see. Ask how they would translate inspiration into your venue and your budget. Ask who actually designed the weddings in their portfolio. Ask what happens when aesthetics and logistics arent’t meshing. Ask how they manage family members with strong opinions. Ask them about a time they advised a client not to do something beautiful because it wouldn't work. Those answers will tell you things Instagram never can.
I have spent a lot of years planning complicated weddings, working with big budget weddings. I believe beautiful design and excellent planning belong together. But they are not the same skill. And when you're choosing the person who will help manage one of the most complicated and expensive celebrations of your life, don't confuse evidence that someone can create a beautiful image with evidence that they can carry the responsibility behind it.
Your wedding doesn't need a planner whose Instagram looks like your vision. It needs a planner whose judgment is up to the challenges it presents.
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