The Wedding Industry Has A Language Problem

Getting my bride into the church Photo Credit: Sweetwater Portraits

   One of the most confusing things about planning a wedding is that everyone seems to use the same words to mean completely different things.  Planner, coordinator, designer, venue coordinator, florist, event producer, wedding manager. What is a "wedding manager" anyway? And, an "event producer" sounds like you are putting together a half time show for the Super Bowl. We also have words like "luxury", "bespoke" and others that seem to encourage million dollar weddings, when, in fact, "luxury" is about a feeling, not a price tag..

 To someone outside the industry, those titles can sound interchangeable.  They are not.  And when couples don't understand the difference, they can easily hire one service while believing they're getting another.  A venue coordinator, for example, is there to manage the venue.  That person may be wonderful, organized, responsive, and incredibly helpful.  But their primary responsibility is still the venue. 

A wedding planner represents the couple.  This is a very different role than a venue coordinator.  A planner may be involved in budgeting, vendor selection, logistics, family dynamics, timelines, design decisions, contract questions, troubleshooting, and the dozens of moving parts that have nothing to do with the venue itself. Another thing to understand is that a wedding planner is not your designer. A planner may coordinate with a designer to implement a design with a cohesive theme, but the designer should be someone hired to actually do the work of transforming an idea into a finished product.

   Then there is wedding coordination or wedding management.  That usually refers to someone stepping in closer to the wedding day to organize logistics and execute plans that have already been made.  That is very different from full-service planning. Most of the time, that person is more readily called a "day of planner", which is not the same as a wedding planner. This person may come in the week before and help with the last minute details, then show up on the wedding day to decorate the room with a DIY couple's personal projects, be there to handle the timeline and generally run the day. And, many times a couple with no caterer will expect this person to set up the room and break it down at the end of the evening. Again, this is not the job of a wedding planner.

   And then we get to design.  A wedding designer is thinking about the visual and experiential direction of the celebration.  How does the room feel?  How do the flowers, lighting, linens, furniture, stationery, and details work together?  What story does the environment tell?  A florist may be part of that design.  But hiring a florist does not automatically mean you have hired an event designer.  And hiring an event designer does not necessarily mean you have hired someone to manage your budget, transportation, contracts, family concerns, vendors, or wedding day logistics. This person is hired to design the visual experience, pulling together a cohesive theme throughout.

   Here is where couples get into trouble.  They hear the word "planner" and assume everything is included.  They hear "coordinator" and believe someone will guide them through the entire process.  They hear "designer" and assume that person will also manage the day.  Then six months later, they discover there is a very large gap between what they thought they purchased and what they actually contracted.  The answer is not to memorize industry terminology.  The answer is to ask better questions.

   Instead of asking:  "Are you a wedding planner?"  Ask:  "What exactly will you be responsible for?"  Who communicates with our vendors?  Who helps us make decisions before the wedding?  Who creates the timeline?  Who manages the budget?  Who attends vendor meetings?  Who develops the design?  Who handles setup?  Who advocates for us if there is a problem?  Who is responsible for the wedding day from beginning to end?

   Those answers matter much more than the title on someone's website.  I have spent too many years in this business, I think we owe couples more clarity.  Not clever titles, not vague packages, but a clear and concise description of what a couple is hiring.   Because you shouldn't discover three weeks before your wedding that the person you thought was managing everything was only responsible for one small part of it.  

   A title should begin the conversation.  It should never replace it.  Know what you're hiring.  Know who is responsible for what.  And make sure the people standing beside you on your wedding day are actually the people you thought you hired.  That isn't being difficult.  That's being informed. No one can do everything. It takes a team to produce a wedding well. Be clear about hiring your team. If you have questions or are not sure, please reach out. I am happy to help you figure it out.