Wedding gown shopping has changed enormously. Today, you can sit on your sofa, scroll through hundreds of gowns in an hour, save dozens of photographs and find what appears to be your dream dress without ever walking into a bridal salon. You can compare a $300 gown with a $3,000 gown and wonder: What could possibly make one worth ten times more than the other? Sometimes there is a significant difference. Sometimes there isn't. And that's exactly why I think brides need to learn something before they shop.
Seeing a beautiful wedding gown and understanding what you're buying are two very different things. Before I became a wedding planner, I worked in bridal retail. I managed bridal salons, sold gowns and spent a lot of time learning about fabrics, construction, fit, silhouettes and alterations. And one of the things I learned is that the prettiest part of a wedding gown isn't necessarily the part that tells you whether it's well made. Sometimes you have to look underneath. Start with the silhouette, but understand what creates A line, ball gown, empire, mermaid, trumpet, sheath. Those words describe the basic shape of a gown, but they don't tell you how that shape was created.
A fluid sheath and a structured ball gown ask very different things of fabric and construction. A mermaid gown that hugs the body before flaring toward the hem has different fit considerations from an A-line that falls away from the body. Don't become so consumed with rules about which silhouette you're supposed to wear that you refuse to try something you love. Try it. Then look at what the gown actually does on your body. Can you move comfortably? Can you sit? Can you walk? Does the bodice stay where it belongs? Does the skirt fall properly? Does the gown maintain the shape that attracted you to it in the first place? A wedding dress isn't a photograph. You're going to live in it for hours.
Learn Something About Fabric
Fabric is one of the first places where two gowns that look similar in photographs may feel completely different in person. Chiffon is light, sheer and fluid. Organza is also sheer, but generally has more body and structure. Charmeuse has a fluid, soft drape. Tulle can create anything from a soft, ethereal effect to significant volume depending upon how it's used and layered. Mikado is more substantial and structured. Dupioni and shantung have characteristic texture. And satin isn't actually a fiber—it's a type of weave. So simply seeing the word satin doesn't tell you everything about what the fabric is made from.
Why should you care?
Because fabric affects how a gown falls, moves, reflects light, holds its shape and feels against your body. Touch it. Move in it. Look at it in different light. And read the label. Don't just ask whether you like the fabric. Ask whether the fabric is doing what this particular dress needs it to do.
Now, Look Inside the Dress
Yes. Turn it inside out. Years ago, when I worked in bridal retail, these were the kinds of things I taught brides to notice, and they still matter. Look at the lining. Look at the seams. Look at the bodice construction. Look at the boning and internal support where the design requires it. Look at the cups and closures. Look at how everything is finished. If you're wearing a strapless gown, proper internal construction is particularly important. An internal belt at the waist should be constructed to keep the dress in place. You shouldn't have to spend your entire wedding day pulling your dress back up. That's not just annoying, it tells you something isn't working properly, whether that's fit, alteration, support or construction. A seamstress can construct such a belt, if one is not already part of the dress. The outside of the gown is what everyone else sees. The inside is part of what makes the outside work.
Look Closely at Lace, Beading and Appliqué
This is another area where photographs can be deceiving. From several feet away, two lace gowns may appear remarkably similar. Get closer. How is the lace positioned How are the appliqués attached? Does the pattern flow naturally across the gown? How is the beading secured? Does the embellishment feel integrated into the design or simply attached to it? Look at the edges and finishing. Beautiful handwork and thoughtful placement require materials, skill and labor. That doesn't mean every heavily embellished gown is superior to a simple one. Some of the most extraordinary gowns are beautifully simple. It means that when you're comparing two apparently similar dresses, look at the details before deciding they're the same thing.
Don't Forget the Back of the Dress
Ah, the train. Sweep, court, chapel, cathedral. A dramatic train can be breathtaking coming down the aisle. But unless you're planning to drag it behind you through cocktails and dancing, eventually something has to happen to it. That's the bustle. There are different ways of bustling a gown, including overbustles and French bustles, and the appropriate method depends upon the design, fabric, train and construction of the dress. Ask about it before the wedding. Ask your alterations professional to show someone in your wedding party exactly how it works. Take a picture or video during the fitting if permitted. Because ten minutes before your first dance is not the ideal time for six people to crawl around underneath your dress trying to determine which ribbon attaches to which loop.
Trust me on this one. Alterations Are Part of Buying the Gown
A wedding gown doesn't simply need to be beautiful. It needs to become your gown. Hemming, bodice adjustments, straps, sleeves, bustles and other fit or design changes may all affect the final cost. So don't spend your entire gown budget on the gown itself without investigating alterations. And ask questions before purchasing if you know you want significant changes. Can this neckline realistically be altered? Can sleeves be added? Can the back be changed? How will this fabric respond to the alteration you're considering? Can this gown be properly hemmed without compromising an important design detail? Ask about a special measurement on a lace gown with no waistline. Lace cannot be hemmed, so length is important when buying a lace gown. A talented alterations professional can accomplish remarkable things. But alterations aren't magic.
What About Buying a Wedding Gown Online?
Years ago, I gave brides very simple advice: Don't do it.
I wouldn't give that blanket advice today. Online shopping has changed enormously, and there are reputable companies selling perfectly lovely wedding gowns online at many price points. So my advice has changed. Online isn't necessarily the problem. Buying blindly is. If you're buying a gown online, investigate the seller. If the gown is represented as being from a particular designer, determine whether the seller is authorized to sell that designer's gowns. Read the return and cancellation policies. Understand the sizing. Take proper measurements. Know the expected delivery date. Find out what happens if the gown arrives damaged, incorrect or substantially different from what you expected. And leave yourself time. Time for delivery. Time for alterations. And, yes, enough time to solve the problem if what arrives isn't what you thought you were buying.
Be Careful With the “Designer Gown for a Fraction of the Price”
This was a concern when I worked in bridal retail, and the internet has made comparison shopping considerably easier—and considerably more complicated. If you find what appears to be an expensive designer gown being sold elsewhere for an astonishingly low price, don't assume you've discovered the bargain of the century. Investigate. Whose photograph are you looking at? Is the dress actually made by that designer? Is the retailer authorized to sell it? Is it a sample or pre-owned gown? Is it simply “inspired by” the original? What fabric will actually be used? What does the return policy say? Sometimes you've found a legitimate opportunity. Sometimes you're looking at a photograph of one dress and purchasing something else entirely. Know which one before you send your money.
And Please Don't Shop Only by the Price Tag
This is where this article connects to everything I've been talking about lately. An expensive wedding gown isn't automatically a quality wedding gown. A moderately priced gown isn't automatically inferior. And a bride doesn't need a five figure designer dress to look spectacular on her wedding day. I've seen beautiful brides at every price point. That's not the lesson. The lesson is: Understand what you're buying. Look beyond the photograph. Learn something about the fabric. Examine the construction. Turn the gown inside out. Look at the seams and support. Examine the lace and embellishment. Think about alterations. Understand the train and bustle. Investigate the seller. Ask questions. And then choose the gown that makes sense for your body, your wedding, your priorities and your budget. If the $500 gown is beautifully made, fits wonderfully and makes you feel extraordinary? Wonderful. If you examine a $5,000 gown and decide that the workmanship, fabric, design and fit are worth every penny to you? Wonderful. Neither bride needs to justify her decision to the other. Because smart wedding shopping isn't about automatically spending more. And it isn't about automatically spending less.
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