Creating Your Wedding, Your Way

Walking to their own beat in a purple dress

Wedding planning can be a daunting task. And, when you don't want to have "your mother's wedding", things can get complicated. Today's couples are getting married differently than past generations and even different from friends, family and other couples. Couples want their taste, their feel, their vision. Many weddings are smaller. Couples are getting married privately and then having a party. There is no set formula for today's weddings. So, let's explore some of the things that make your wedding YOURS.

The first thing that happens when you get engaged is that everyone starts telling you what they think your wedding should look like. Most couples are paying for their own weddings and want their own tastes to be recognized and respected. But, what happens when parents are contributing and siblings have already had that big traditional wedding? This is where you need to have a conversation. Explain, calmly and respectfully this is your wedding. Make sure you are appreciative of others wanting to help, financially, emotionally, etc. But, stand your ground. If you feel you can compromise for something that your parents want you to include, do it. It may make the process less stressful if they feel you are respecting their feelings.

Carnival themed wedding

Create a plan for your wedding. What do you want it to look like? How do you want it to feel? Do you want to include traditions like introductions, 1st dance, ceremony on site. Do you just want to quietly steal away and get married and then have a big party? Do you want a seated dinner or maybe a cocktail party or interactive stations. Once you decide how your wedding is going to look and feel. share it with your parents, your siblings or whoever is going to be a part of helping you plan your day.

Over the years I have done many non-traditional weddings. The bride who didn't want a white dress because it made her look washed out, so she chose a purple one instead. The couple who wanted to include their large family and decided on a carnival theme with a red and white striped tent, snow cones ( spiked and non spiked), burgers and hot dogs and cotton candy. It was one of the most wonderful days. Whatever you feel is what should be. It is your day.

Tradition is great, but maybe you are not comfortable being in the spotlight. Maybe you don't want your ceremony to include that walk down the aisle. Or, maybe you don't want your guests to have to be told where to sit all evening. This year I am doing some very non-traditional weddings. On Valentine's Day, I did a wedding that was casual and free flowing. it looked more like a Valentine than a wedding- balloons, vintage Valentines as centerpieces, a heart shaped cake and lots of finger foods. The bride wore a black velvet suit for the ceremony and then changed into her white cowboy boots and black pants for the party. The whole evening was just about having a great time.

A Valentine's Day Wedding

I also have several couples who are very introverted and are not having a traditional ceremony. One couple is having a cocktail party and just going to stop the music at some point and say their vows. Couples are opting for no sweetheart table, no introductions, no formalities. Modern couples just want to celebrate with those who mean the most to them.

Elmo's and the Drum Corps Kicked off the Dancing

At the end of the day, it is YOUR day. Do what feels right for you. If you want something that is going to really speaks to who you are as a couple, something that you guests will remember for years to come, something unique and special to you- Go For It. Don't be dismissive of other's feelings, but be true to yourselves.

Enjoy making it yours. Enjoy sharing your ideas with family. Enjoy the process. And, maybe throw in a little bit of tradition for those that may not understand how weddings have changed.